Home is where …

Posted by on Sep 18, 2019 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Home is where …

For some, home is a lavish room in the heart of each person, a nest fashionably feathered with love, devotion and fond memories. For others, the very thought of holding on to memories yields nothing less than a blackened heart. Deep-seated resentment recalls the pain of parental discipline that regularly spun out of control.

Unconditional Love

Home can also be a place to live in, where love builds a happy home from the inside out, where family members can let their guard down, are free to express themselves without fear of criticism, a place where people are fertile with peace, vitality and potential in all aspects of life. Home is also intended to represent an environment where the occupants can count on a reliable source of comfort, unconditional love, encouragement, emotional nourishment, safety and heartfelt nurturance.

Delightful Nuances

While the tail-wagging dog and other happy pets are familiar signs of wholesome family life, the outer home is a reflection of the inner home. An untended garden, litter and broken appliances rusting in the sun, speak volumes about the level of wickedness taking place behind closed doors. Laughter, music and the delicious aroma of dinner combine to warrant the assumption that there is no other place quite like home, with all its delightful nuances.

Teaching Children

Knowing what influences or actions toppled the proverbial apple-cart may take one back to a time preferably forgotten, often during our impressionable childhood years. Functioning households are traditionally headed by well-educated adults who have not only the financial means to support the household, and often an extended family, but also the intellectual capacity to pass on valuable life skills to their children. Other responsibilities include developmental activities, such as sports that take place outside the home. In cases where parents and their children live under one roof, it is safe to say that the home is a child’s first tutorial setting with parents, older siblings and extended family as their first teachers. It is in the home, rather than in the classroom, that children develop their most basic values and outlook on life.

Social Ills

Some households are uncomfortable places for adults, who as children did not have the benefit of growing up in a safe and loving environment, let alone a home where they were taught important life skills, empathy and respect for themselves and others, as well as kindness toward animals. If this hapless cycle is allowed to be passed down from one generation to the next it does not bode well for the future of our civilization. Poverty, illiteracy and unemployability deeply impacts the family because it not only affects the psychological functioning of its members, it is also linked to poor physical and mental health, crime, drugs and gang violence.


Many children reared in squatter settlements not only endure starvation and pitiable living conditions, they are also vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. Many social scientists agree that children who are poverty-stricken seldom excel at school and usually drop-out at a young age. Promiscuous sexual behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse are often the result. Adults are usually poor because they can’t find work as they lack in-demand job skills. In retrospect, as parents, they are untrained to help their children acquire useful skills. And so sets a snow ball effect in motion. Many are illiterate and unskilled, yet these profound disadvantages are carried over to their children and their children’s children.

The Family unit

Our future leaders in growing up find themselves rudderless in a vast turbulent ocean of contradiction. Consequently, it isn’t hard to predict the dire consequences future generations might face if nothing is done to transform non-committal attitudes and wipe out ignorance. It is therefore essential to instill kind-heartedness in all people so that they may respect all life forms. It is therefore the family in all its diversifications that is on trial to bring about this revolutionary change.


Despite the many obvious advantages of both formal and informal education, as well as self-study, it has twisted our way of thinking into an unnatural form. But, as communities grow, so does the capacity and need to spread knowledge. Our technological era is making it possible to bring education to everyone.

Future Leaders

Today, while the world is contemplating revolutionary change, many plans are afoot for its future reconstruction; education is widely regarded as one of the best means for bringing this about. Constructive education is essential for everyone, especially Early Childhood Development during their first five years, for they are the makers of mankind and the leaders of future generations.

Alternative families

Modern family groups are today less firmly held together by consideration and responsibility than previous generations. Instead of comprising father, mother and children the ‘family’ has become a loose grouping of individuals, but nonetheless a family. Because each of these diverse family units has limited power over the other, it is easier for a partner or spouse to leave the family if they feel coerced in a role that makes them feel uncomfortable or stigmatized.

Absent Fathers

Absent fathers are prevalent in most cultures, which has a detrimental long-term effect on the way children are disciplined, taught social skills and how they perceive a functioning family should be. While most fathers remain involved in the lives of their offspring, some males — as is also the case with other mammal species in the animal kingdom – are not concerned with their offspring after mating. Hence, nurturing duties fall to the mother.


It would be unkind to think of every person living below the breadline as a potential thief. I doubt if any person rooted in an impoverished way of life would defend it as being even slightly bearable. No one deserves to suffer the indignation and discomfort that poverty brings. While criminality might be prevalent in some cases, this is not to say rich kids are absolved somehow from developing dark tendencies to harm or even kill.

Case study

The baby is crying, the house is in disarray, and the power has been cut. The father lies slumped on a broken lounger, drunk since the previous evening. The mother looks haggard as she attempts to rinse dirty plates in cold water. This emotional pit of escapism is a constant reminder that death offers the perfect solution to a misspent life. A young boy walks into the room. He politely says, “Morning Mom! Morning Dad!” but no one greets him. He hears his brother and sister fighting with each other in the back bedroom. And the baby is crying. The father gets up clutching his head in his hands. Situational stress and overindulgence of alcohol spark an adrenalin rush. Now he is yelling at the kids, yelling at his wife. “Shut up! Shut up!” This outcry was a daily occurrence. Predictably he would grab his car keys to drive to the pub where he would spend the day drowning his sorrows. But the car is broken. There is no food in the house. The kids will be absent from school for yet another day. He looks at the family pet, their beloved fox terrier, emaciated and filthy. “When last did anyone feed poor Monty?” This seems to sober him up a little. He looks at his young son. “How did things get so out of control?” For now he was focused on helping his wife feed the baby and collect garbage that was strewn on the floor. He knew that if he opened the front door the full extent of their failed family would overwhelm him. This was not a quick fix, he knew that. He felt deeply ashamed watching his children rummage through a pile of unwashed laundry, so they could get dressed for the day. A definitive pattern of neglect and decay had developed over many months. This family desperately needed to get back on their feet. Caring for four children is by no means an easy feat, yet possible with two responsible parents at the helm.”

Voluntary Simplicity

We need to reduce our material possessions and adopt a simpler lifestyle. Most people acknowledge that the world is destined for change, simply because our modern civilization exploits natural resources. Besides, our numbers far exceed the maximum global population that can comfortably be sustained. Many people search for a new and better way of life to minimize their carbon footprint.

Comfort Zone

One of the most basic benefits of loving behavior is its ability to provide comfort, forgiveness and unconditional love. The familiar environment, décor, colors and smells transport us to a time in our past. Fond memories are relived, awakening our creativity. Furnishings trigger recollections of a different time when life’s expectations were somehow simpler. The aroma of spanakopita, a family favorite baking in the oven, directs the conversation to loved one’s passed on but not forgotten.


Laughter is the best medicine. Common ailments invite a torrent of effective remedies and good old stand-by, albeit quaint, treatments handed down from grandmother to daughter are re-visited. Drenching up wildly embarrassing recollections entertain and shock simultaneously, but you know it will go no further than the interior walls of the home, even if the walls have ears. These very same ears treasure novel confessions to bring about soul healing. The words I love you soothe away physical and emotional pain.

Going back home

The expression ‘going back home’ means different things to different people. Some use it as a way to convey their devotion to sustaining inner peace while others think of it as a renewed state of mind that declares to the world they are happy with their sense of worth. Of course, it can also be taken literally. William Shakespeare says it well: “When I was at home, I was in a better place”. The wonderful thing about home is that it feels good to leave, especially young people fixated on discovering independence, yet returning to the familiar comforts feels even better. The Dalai Lama states that giving the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.”

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